Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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