i wish starbucks made bloody marys
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
