We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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