Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
