i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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