You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
