She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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