So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
did i just pee glitter
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