i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
