My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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