It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
