I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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