the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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