do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
