I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
