My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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