I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
