Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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