I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
