I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
