That's when you crack a 10am beer
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
