Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i dont even know how to be here
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
