Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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