I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
