D3 body, D1 cock
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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