She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
