eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
