Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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