sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize