I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
