Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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