is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
