The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
