I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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