i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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