I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
