It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
