Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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