My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
