he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
