I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
