the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
