its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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