Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
