What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
