At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
