good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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