i permit you to call me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
