check it out our google latitudes are spooning
its not stalking. its research.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
