So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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