she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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