He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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