you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's shark week go big or go home
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
