it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
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