just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
