I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
