you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
