you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
