I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
