i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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