I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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