Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
