He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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