would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
