Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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