Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
